my 2012 goals

I have two this year:

Goal #1:

photo credit

I think it was the extra busy-ness of last month that really pushed this to be a goal for me.
But besides just busy plans and days, I am a very anxious person anyway. When I'm up and about, I'm doing 20 things at once, and moving and fluttering around the house. I need to slow down.

I've already had two lessons this week.

1st lesson --- Yesterday I went to IF with the kids. Jack is getting near impossible to take shopping because he wants to walk, just like Avie... but that just doesn't work for me because he doesn't stay close by. So I put him in the cart, and he FIGHTS and SCREAMS and makes it so, so fun!
Anyway, I had my day planned, we'd go here and there, call it a day and be home in 3ish hours.

I feel like I'm usually pretty easy-going with things, let me re-phrase that... I feel like I used to be pretty easy-going with things, but I think I've become even more anxious about things over the last year. I think it's the fact that I have not two but now four extra little hands that grab, touch, yank, pull, need held, washed, etc....

Anyway, as we were going about things, taking more time than I would have liked (but why would I think it would be any less with two kids in tow?) I could feel that edge, my anxiety I guess getting the best of me... wow, this is making me sound like I really have a serious issue, maybe I do?

I finally took a breath and stopped for a moment.
That's when I decided this was a time I needed to slow down.
There was no rush. I had nothing I needed to get back home in time for. If the kids were going to be hooligans, oh well. If they fell asleep in the car, we'd just pull over and rest in a parking lot. It didn't matter how long we'd be there.

So I took the kids to McD's. We all split a 10-piece nugget meal (I know, Lisa, gross...) and they played in the play place to their little heart's content. After that we took our time and finished our shopping. Because I slowed down, the day was longer but also funner, for all involved, than I had originally planned.


---

2nd lesson --- This isn't so much a story about anything, but more just a shift in my thinking.
First I will preface it with this, I feel like I used to be really good at doing things with Avie- fun activities, having her be involved with everything I did in the kitchen, etc. Then Jackson came along and got bigger too. It was hard for me to have an extra two hands wanting to be involved too. So activities/extra helpers were limited either to hardly ever or none at all or when he was napping (it sounds so bad). I think this is why part of me was in a funk for a few months last year. I felt a lot of guilt over the mom I used to be but wasn't being anymore.) 

I don't want this to sound like I never did anything fun with my boy because he still was my helper with a lot of things, but when I compared it to what I did with Avie, it was very minimal... I've had to talk myself into thinking things will and do change from one kid to two kids to three or five... I can't expect to be the same mom I was with just one child, and that doesn't mean I am being any less of a mother than I was before. My attention is needed elsewhere and with different things the more our family grows. 

Anyway, what I'm getting to is that today we made cookies. My first thought was to wait and do them during Jack's nap. But I quickly pushed that thought aside so he could be in on it too. 

Yes, they were both up on the counter like little animals. 

Yes, there was flour and oatmeal spattered all around.

Yes, it took a couple mini-fights before realizing they could take turns putting ingredients in.

But they had fun, and it wasn't even a big deal to have four extra hands up there stirring, mixing, measuring and dumping.
Because I slowed down, I wasn't so uptight about making simple cookies (that just sounds ridiculous that it's something I even get uptight about! see? entirely different mom than I was two years ago!) and both kids had fun joining in.

"We would do well to slow down a little, 

focus on the significant and 

truly see the things that matter most."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Funny how I'm reading from the same talk I based my goal off of last year, but it's striking an entirely different note with me this time around. Did not plan that.

my goal's theme song

Goal #2:

Do. 

I have committed myself to doing 1-2 projects a month this year.
This sounds petty, but for one who did not take her sewing machine out once last year, OK maybe once, this is a big commitment.

My close friends know about my list. You know, the ever-growing list - of projects, ideas, crafts - I want to do and try but never do. Well, this year, I'm going to do them.
Some projects may be crafts. Some may be getting better organized.
But whatever they are, I am committing to following through and DOING them.

What are your goals?